The Dangerous Kaos Experience

 

    SOOOOO... yes, I cave in and I got 6!! 6 mega millions tickets! -.- ugh.. lol and of course just found out that I didn't win! It was the biggest lottery in the WORLD! People traveling from all over the place to buy tickets! Some people dropping a grand and mortgaging their house for this crap! :P asked my boyfriend to come up with some numbers with me and let's try and win and live off of the winnings, but we didn't win... There was a long line at the lottery place at my job (on both sides of the airport); people going out or coming back home xP I never play the lottery, partially because it can be addictive, and when I play gambling games I tend to me hooked on trying to win.. sometimes I don't have self-control sad to say when it comes to certain things. But I do try to keep certain things around me to snap me back into "reality"... if there is a really reality.

   I think truthfully, that this is a ploy.. I mean they did do a special on TV about where all the money goes from people buying the lottery tickets, but I mean it just gets swiped back up by taxes, not to mention debt pours out of nowhere, some how. And let's not forget the hungry people for that money who out of nowhere no you all of a sudden. I'm sure the government is watching you even closer then, so forbid you research on things they have an issue with. Perhaps they think that it's a nice payoff so that person can live a life out of their business, in which they snatch up the money due to some mysterious homicide. Perhaps, I'm going to far with the lottery thing, but for other things... this really does happen... especially when the government gets involved... and you have something they want... look out!

  This is an unfair game that the world will soon take on checkmated to the very end of death. By monopolizing the world's primary needs between oil company's like Exxon to major banking corporations ( not credit unions ) to societies and organizations like Freemasonry and Zionists, the world united stands less and less of a chance of success as more and more of the world's powers seize control of everything. One of these unfortunate "needs" is gas to fuel the the cars that we need and ones we want to hear go "VROOM". "Unfortunately", America as a whole will soon have to choose between luxury and living as gas prices continue to soar and what today has been deemed record high of $4.11!

  The movie Gas Hole, as advertised in the top picture, has shed light upon the reality that alternatives are out there, and it is allowing more people to achieve gas independence efficiently in cost effective ways.Though scarce, it is possible! There is technically an EXTREMELY low advertisement volume for such alternatives due to the "supply and demand scenario's that aren't matched by gas, and in America, the only way we buy something is if we see it on TV FIRST! Billions and trillions of dollars are poured and pumped into advertising, whether it's on TV or placed strategically on the shelf next to the life size personality for the product. "Waste-less" money spent on things and ideas that have no significant value except for the few seconds of fame in pop culture?! Is THIS the idea of utopia?! The idea that America is a land of opportunity... to prey on the weak who attempt to make a decent living based upon the idea that living large is.. well, living!

  After watching this movie, as well as Bowling for Columbine and Sicko, I've noticed that America has ways of defending the evil and blaming the innocent. I don't understand the idea of covering up the real idea that the world is getting ready to unleash. Are people this dense to believe that voting and hoping will solely grant them the freedom they deserve? It is unfortunate that my fellow man is failing themselves as a whole.. and continues to be sheltered from the truth.. As HUMAN BEINGS, we must stand against these debaucheries with a vengeance..

   Today Terrence asked me to be his girlfriend! ^.^ At first, it was a bit random. Then he made it kind of bad and reneged it. But when we got to his house he took my hand and asked me romantically and said romantic things and.. true things ^.^ he makes me so happy, I feel so honored to be with him! I can't believe it though!! :D 

   I'm learning more about myself these days... I feel like a complicated person... Terrence and I had a huge argument yesterday... My day at work was a fucking disaster in all its cursing ways... Lately, I've been seriously depressed... At times, I feel lonely... I'm still not Terrence's girlfriend, which actually contributes to my loneliness and depression... I hate my job, and trying to find another one... Considering going back for my masters, but where is a major issue naturally... There are days more commonly than I would like, that I feel empty... 90% of the people I know are either married or with children or both, and/ or is in an actual committed, official relationship... I don't know what I'm good at anymore... I feel liek a boring person... There's only one thing maybe that I find intriguing or "uplifting" that I have discovered about myself out of this and other observations of my life in total, and that is that I am apparently a tortured artist. Now, I'm not trying to go along with whatever pop culture trend is available for people who actually do fit this category or people who actually strive to be his "character". For I don't know who would even want to feel the things I feel most days or all the time. It's seriously exhausting at times... Don't know where to go from here, but I figure I'd start somewhere.