Soooooooooooo, I hung out with "Bishounen Uruhu" yesterday and it was pretty awesome! We went to Lenox and ate out there lol and caught up. I hadn't laughed so hard in months! I had fun ^.^ I didn't want to go home of course, because of my homework and possible depression that would creep in. But it was fun while it lasted. He came to my job after work and I was running kind of late because of customers and my coworker taking forever to come back down to customs (where I was). He walked me to my shuttle when we got off the train, and afterward I think I felt important for a change; like I mattered to someone for a change. It was really nice.
This too!
This.
OMG THIS SO CUTE AND IMMA GET ONE!! I really want one! And in other news, I figure I go with the flow with my ex and see where things take us. I'm very curious as to what will happen and hope that we can escalate to more than best friends. Though I did find out that we never did stop being best friends; I guess he just needs to process things slower and develop slower. I hope things will get better.
My Capstone course is going to kick my ass, and that's my main and primary concern at the moment. I hope I don't screw that up or I'm screwed!!! >.< I need miracles for my various situations, and I hope I receive them!!
I had a really bad day today, and it doesn't seem to get better. All the while I'm thinking, who can I tell my day to; who would care to listen? Who's shoulder can I cry on? I began to cry on my way home from my class today out of nowhere, kind of. It's just a whole lot of shit is happening either all at once or in between, and I don't know what to do or how to deal. I have no one it feels, like I mean beyond family, but even then at times that can be iffy it feels. I have to sit here and take all of this and jam it into my bottle of worries and unfortunate just to get by. My recent ex wants to be BEST friends, and I get confused by some things that occur between us. It would be him that I would've went to to, to cry on his shoulder; but even towards the end of our relationship I don't think it would've been wise since he didn't even show any interest in me anymore or my life... And I ask myself why would being best friends now help me at any point considering he said how our conversations were dry and I'm still in pain... I tried to tell him I need more space and time to reflect and mourn for I do still want him and it hurts to feel that his selfishness is surrounding me. He doesn't ask how my day is or try to help me in anyway, I don't understand what kind of best friend we're supposed to be... and I don't want to be JUST his best friend. He can't seem to understand how much he has hurt me and still is. I do want to get back together, but he is insisting on keeping me as a best friend it seems, and I don't know how to break away for a while. School and work aren't any fun either... but it felt good today to sit in a classroom with familiar faces and feel some form of love and bonding from those that do show that they love and care about me... I yearn for things that I can't seem to have, and if I can one day... I don't know when that day will be....
ROFL!! My cuz accidentally set his front yard on fire!! xD He's on the phone with my bro trying to put it out xDD
How I have been feeling for the past two weeks..
Omg!!! OMG!! PAUL VAN DYK IS COMING TO ATLANTA!! \( ' 0')/ OK! sooo, it's on a Friday and I'm like what am I going to do?! I have work the following morning at 6:45!! GRR! And it starts at 9PM! I'm trying to get a bunch of people to join me on my rampage to the Opera, but I just learned of this. It's a new nightclub from what I understand so this will be very interesting, considering I've never been to a nightclub nor this place (duh). AAAHHHH!! I originally found this place when I was searching for raves in Atlanta to attend, and then BAM! For Tickets!
The person who sent this to me made me smile ^.^ Keep wondering if there's underlying meanings to it
DAMN! My bro, cuz, and I have been trying to unlock this guy, the apprentice, in Soul Calibur 4 on PS3. And I managed to get another controller >.< *feels broke!* Well, just now we FINALLY GOT HIS ASS! I mean wow I love this guy! He was my main character at school when I had a partner to play with...
Soo... I went to Urban Outfitters yesterday and saw they got some new books in. Hehehe, I know certain people I know would love these new additions!! :P
WHOA! Cloverfield was pretty awesome! And was strangely just as unexpected as Quarantine. I have to say though... when the guy went above and beyond to get the girl he's loved for so long out of a leaning building in the middle of danger, it made me hurt some. I wish someone loved me that much... two of my exes used to... (maybe one still does). But in any case, after taking "Intro to Film" with Dr. Bonner, I must say I think I knew they were all going to die just like in Quarantine. Lol, maybe you shouldn't watch a movie with me :P
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Technically, I'm not sure how often I'm "allowed" to update my blog, but I do feel "trapped" in my shell right now; I feel somewhat isolated. To make today more uneasy than the usual, I learned from my Mom that my tennis coach is battling with Prostate Cancer... He hasn't told me yet because I haven't called in a while. One of my other tennis coaches died last year from a stroke... It's like everyone is leaving me everywhere I turn... Who can I go to... Where can I go... I'm so alone
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Technically, I'm not sure how often I'm "allowed" to update my blog, but I do feel "trapped" in my shell right now; I feel somewhat isolated. To make today more uneasy than the usual, I learned from my Mom that my tennis coach is battling with Prostate Cancer... He hasn't told me yet because I haven't called in a while. One of my other tennis coaches died last year from a stroke... It's like everyone is leaving me everywhere I turn... Who can I go to... Where can I go... I'm so alone
"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."
I watched this movie, Quarantine, last night to try and think about something else for a change. When I think about it, it's ironic that i chose this movie for the situation I'm in right now; Considering I'm suffering from my recent break-up, and not sure whether we will reunite as one again. This movie had quite a suspense to it, and it's hand held camera effect was great! I think though that it was supposed to be scary, and I did end up shedding literally a TEAR at the very end. It kept me from logging on Skype long enough to try and maintain sanity. My next movie was Cloverfield, but it wasn't done coming to my computer unfortunately >.< .
These are the beginning's of my philosophical approaches to a life that never sleeps from chaos. I, Dangerous Kaos, think deeply and freely about the world that surrounds me. Chaos surrounds me daily and allows me to think and also not think. This blog is dedicated to my inability to maintain order, an wreak destruction whenever possible.