Well, this year has been highly unpredictable... to say the least. Terrence still hasn't made things official between us; in fact, I'm kind of waiting on his call because we were supposed to talk about or pending date that he rescheduled. He was originally going to take me out for dinner as our first date and my graduation "gift" you could say. We instead had a hang out session at his place on Sunday, the next day, and he still had not scheduled a date. Not to mention, Monday he did not call me or text me at all. Tuesday I had to work late and so I had called him 3 times to talk about this weirdness between us. He was kind of open to the conversation and even texted me an hour later briefly; it didn't last at all, but I came to realize it was because he had been decorating for hours.... Today, he hasn't said anything to me at all, though yesterday he said he would talk to me about our date issue. I'm starting to lose hope and faith in what we could possibly have together. I don't know what to do....

Interesting enough though, Richard and almost everyone else I know is in or is in the process of a relationship and I'm still stuck in limbo. I don't know how on earth Richard managed to snag a girl, not saying he doesn't have potential, it's just shocking to see him with someone else. I've battled up and down consistently with Terrence to make up his mind to the point that I told him if he didn't go to my graduation that we were over. He drove early in the morning to get down here to see me at the 9 A.M. ceremony, but alas, did not take me out on a date. I am happy for those who are fortunate have found someone they can be with, especially for the holidays, but I'm still unhappy with my situation with Terrence. I had a terrible year... my dog died, Terrence broke up with me in January, he isn't over his ex, had my capstone paper at the same time trying to battle my feelings and situation with Terrence, house got broken into, and yesterday I broke up with Terrence... I gave him his stuff back. Today I blew up his phone and told him I was in love with him, and told him how logically we should be together. He told me he'd call back later... still waiting on this call. He asked what I was doing today I said nothing. It's almost 3. 

But yes my year has been hell. I did graduate though, which is quite an accomplishment. My dad never said anything to me nor came because of ticket issues. I didn't care. 

I'm starting to get a hang of being single little by little. It's new territory for me. The thing I'm afraid of the most is letting go. But what's even more upsetting is I don't know how to meet guys.... I'm not typical and not the usual type of girl. I cling to Terrence because I love him and want him all to myself. I'm hoping he'll call and arrange a date with me. I need a miracle. He said he would've called me eventually after I left him when I drove off and left him with the stuff he gave me. He text me saying it's indescribable how hid feelings are conflicted to the point where he couldn't even stop me from driving off.... I usually post gifs and pics to express my self in my posts, but I don't even have the will power of the face or the reaction to all of this extremely strange and weird stuff that has happened all this year.... I just hope next year is better....