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Now that Daniel and I are taking it slow, finally lol, it’s finally hitting me that Daniel really doesn’t know how to take things slow. Within the first month before we officially got together I think or little after we got together, he bought me an $80 necklace! I felt that was WAY too much too soon… I mean it’s nice to an extent, but it really wasn’t my type of jewelry. And to me I’m not sure if he picked it out and was thinking that he liked it so he wanted to see it around my neck, because it’s not like he knew what I liked and it would seem selfish in a way for him to do that. It’s not like I want to pick it out or anything, it’s just it doesn’t show me that you actually picked it out primarily for me; Especially when I’m not really a traditional jewelry person. When I buy jewelry, it has a particular look that I like or feel to it so to speak. Like, I like dark green jade, sometimes just jade period. I also like cute looking things, and unique looking things that maybe someone made by hand perhaps, like the hand glass blown heart shaped necklace I got in Italy
Terrence’s reappearing had nothing to do with the roller coaster ride really that I’ve been secretly battling with Daniel. It just came out because it kind of felt like I had someone in my corner who wasn’t biased, and felt like understood me. Yes, Terrence is not biased, if you believe that lol. He lol, apparently does his research well. But in any case, we both agree Daniel is a good guy. It seems like maybe we are trying to move towards being friends again… It seems like we’re trying to accept things now, but we both agree that nothing is set in stone, so maybe if we’re both single again one day, maybe we will be able to try again for lol a third time xD. I miss him, and was glad he made the extra effort to contact me. We both are hurting, but funnily enough making it through together in a way…
But back to Daniel and I’s.. issues lol. In retrospect, there isn’t anything wrong with him. It’s just I wish there was more understanding.. natural understanding. With him, he had admitted that he probably knows how he should respond to me or what to do in situations, but he just chooses a different path just to see how I will take it… I told him that wasn’t too wise since my idea from that is he doesn’t understand me and what I want. So maybe we are taking it back and restarting over? Even Camille said he fucked it up, sorry lol. She’s just telling the truth brutally. I know I probably hit him over the head with a lot of things, which is causing him to get frustrated and sad, but you can think of it as indirect punishment. Terrence thinks he is causing riffs and stuff in my relationship with Daniel, and it may seem that way considering we both are discussing things and talking again, but in actuality Daniel and I just have a lot of things we need to talk about and figure out about each other. If anything our relationship didn’t form right from the beginning, and he was selfish in the beginning so… lol this entire situation is really messy… nasty messy x.x not to mention his non-traditional ways kind of clash with my traditional ways… and you know, I can be non-traditional too, but for a relationship to form right with me and even for me to feel a stable connection, I need to be met half way at least… messy situation lol.
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