The Dangerous Kaos Experience

         Sooooo... got on the phone with Danny boy to talk after work... I can honestly say that I don't really feel much of a connection with him these days or... rather for a while... we've also had quite a few fights lately. I'll say for sure it's because he's over-confident/cocky, selfish, and self-centered. 

        I guess when you look at my track record, almost all the guys I've been with (if not all) are at least selfish and self-centered. I am, however, tired of being misunderstood or having my interests overlooked... 

         In any case, back to the story ( ' -'). We talk about TomorrowWorld and planning for it (FINALLY). I bought the tickets some month ago, which heh was not cheap ( O -O)!! It was at least $600 for two V.I.P. tickets for crying out loud. So, all I asked for him is to pay for gas and food (and possibly a hotel if needed or necessary). We start planning and we end up butting heads over lack of understanding and misunderstandings... this is a CONSTANT THING. I really don't know if we are going to last...

         He doesn't hear my side of the story, and he's so adamant to be right because he's a SORE LOSER. He can't lose gracefully, and he has issues keeping his word. Anywaaaaaaay, so I was asking what his budget was for this music festival, and he didn't know too well, and he was kind of being unclear about how much he was spending for that weekend... Needless to say, it is going to be expensive... anyway, he wanted to rely on "experience", which for this there is limited. I told him to start looking for hotels from last week I think, because I told him it was already going to more than likely be booked or we would have to pay more because of how late we waited AND because the hotels know the music festival is going to be close (duh). So there a muli fights in there over a week or two. Ugh. It's very frustrating... HE IS SO INTO HIMSELF!!! I just feel like telling him to STFU sometimes or even taking him down a peg. I hate that I need to take my own boyfriend down a peg because he's to fucking cocky and self-centered to listen to ANYONE ELSE. Ass. One day, he'll listen AFTER THE FACT. Probably would've broke his heart by then. 

At times this is the dramatization of Daniel and I (Yamato and Mei)

Daniel treats me like his princess (as he calls me) like Yamato does Mei

         Did I mention that Yamato is Mei's first boyfriend?! ( ' -') of course by the way he looks, they go through some issues because he at one points models with this cute girl. He keeps wanting Mei to "claim" him so to speak, and to voice her real opinion on how she feels about him modeling and who he is with. It takes some time for her too. Like me, Mei and I don't talk very much, and we leave the "knowing-what's-wrong-with-me" to our boyfriends. I'll admit it can be frustrating, but in the end it's worth it. ^.^

         I want soooooooooooooo bad to do edgy things with my boyfriend. It's always been like that with every boyfriend I've been with. They lack the confidence to dance with me in the middle of a bumping circle of strangers in strobe lights and electronica music ( - .-)... for example. Crazy yeah? O.o Anyways.... I wanna do random, crazy, out-of-this-world things! I think I may need to leave my boyfriend behind, and set sail (' -' ) to another country. I think I'm going to go on vacation cross-country by myself. I'm pretty sure that my family (and boyfriend) are going to be like, "oh my gooosh, noooo don't go alooone", but I mean I could've sworn that Terrence was going on a cruise with his girlfriend, and honestly I never got the opportunity to really be single O.o

         Deal with it!\( ' -')/ Totally going to find a place to be free and WILD!! UGH!! ( - .-) being around straight-laced people on a REGULAR BASIS, I forget that life is wonderful, rigid, roller coaster of WTF WAS THAT?! ( ' -')b

         I can't even BEGIN to start my rant without verbally destroying the title with curse words!! I tell you, if Terrence still read my blog, he'd find reason to be happy on his birthday month. In fact, he'd probably jump for joy that shit is happening to me... assumingly. 

         In any case, I AM TIRED!! I AM TIRED OF BEING STRESSED AND DEPRESSED!!! Every time I try to have a life where things don't go HORRIBLY WRONG it DOES ANYWAY! FUCK. EVERYTHING. 

         Today, I was stressed from work at its finest, and just when I was getting an even better grip on my position at the new company I work for. However, I find it unnecessary that my validity be questioned with such high accusatory tones, statements, and questions!! 
    

My Life Now.

         In any case, stressful day at work. Boom. Shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? I mean technically it shouldn't be, because I love where I work now. I really REALLY do. The people are into games, manga, anime, and many more things! However, it's when I get off of work that I have to:

1. Deal with driving back to my apartment for another 30-40 minutes. 
2. Deal with stingy/cheapskate brother and his routine check for unplugging everything from every socket if not in use. 
3. Deal with boyfriend who has nothing to really offer me nor this relationship, and:
1. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know much about me because he's wrapped up in his world all the time, even when I come over.
2. He's selfish.
3. He feels entitled to everything.
4. He can't even make me feel at ease when I get off from work at all. 
5. It's always about him.