The Dangerous Kaos Experience

         Sooooo... got on the phone with Danny boy to talk after work... I can honestly say that I don't really feel much of a connection with him these days or... rather for a while... we've also had quite a few fights lately. I'll say for sure it's because he's over-confident/cocky, selfish, and self-centered. 

        I guess when you look at my track record, almost all the guys I've been with (if not all) are at least selfish and self-centered. I am, however, tired of being misunderstood or having my interests overlooked... 

         In any case, back to the story ( ' -'). We talk about TomorrowWorld and planning for it (FINALLY). I bought the tickets some month ago, which heh was not cheap ( O -O)!! It was at least $600 for two V.I.P. tickets for crying out loud. So, all I asked for him is to pay for gas and food (and possibly a hotel if needed or necessary). We start planning and we end up butting heads over lack of understanding and misunderstandings... this is a CONSTANT THING. I really don't know if we are going to last...

         He doesn't hear my side of the story, and he's so adamant to be right because he's a SORE LOSER. He can't lose gracefully, and he has issues keeping his word. Anywaaaaaaay, so I was asking what his budget was for this music festival, and he didn't know too well, and he was kind of being unclear about how much he was spending for that weekend... Needless to say, it is going to be expensive... anyway, he wanted to rely on "experience", which for this there is limited. I told him to start looking for hotels from last week I think, because I told him it was already going to more than likely be booked or we would have to pay more because of how late we waited AND because the hotels know the music festival is going to be close (duh). So there a muli fights in there over a week or two. Ugh. It's very frustrating... HE IS SO INTO HIMSELF!!! I just feel like telling him to STFU sometimes or even taking him down a peg. I hate that I need to take my own boyfriend down a peg because he's to fucking cocky and self-centered to listen to ANYONE ELSE. Ass. One day, he'll listen AFTER THE FACT. Probably would've broke his heart by then. 



Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments


         This anime was so wonderful.. it actually made me tear up a bit lol. It reminded me of Daniel and I mostly. It's about Mei Tachibana, who doesn't have friends because they always betray you and leave when it's not fun anymore. Funny enough I can relate to her.. :P Yamato Kurosawa comes in an changes how she thinks about people and friends and I guess well.. life! :P I'd like to say that about Daniel for the most part. 

At times this is the dramatization of Daniel and I (Yamato and Mei)
         They have come through some hard times as a couple, which I'm pretty sure we can relate. I know I can be hard on Daniel sometimes, but I guess it's because I've had to deal with so much crap in the past. He still won't give up on me though. He's stated that I'm not for the feint at heart xP lol. 

         If I had to rate this anime, I'd give it an 8 out of 10 :P Mainly, it's because I was expecting a little more development beyond high school maybe? It falls under the category of "Slice of Life", "Romance", and "Comedy-Drama". I guess there is nothing that will go as far as Clannad did :P
Daniel treats me like his princess (as he calls me) like Yamato does Mei

         Did I mention that Yamato is Mei's first boyfriend?! ( ' -') of course by the way he looks, they go through some issues because he at one points models with this cute girl. He keeps wanting Mei to "claim" him so to speak, and to voice her real opinion on how she feels about him modeling and who he is with. It takes some time for her too. Like me, Mei and I don't talk very much, and we leave the "knowing-what's-wrong-with-me" to our boyfriends. I'll admit it can be frustrating, but in the end it's worth it. ^.^
Yamato tells Mei he knows her without her talking much (lucky girl)





Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments


         Ok. Let me start by saying, "Happy Birthday Terrence". ( ' -') I know. DUMB AND STUPID to do, right? Well, to popular belief, we are supposed to be friends. Not to mention, I feel edgy and adventurous :P



         I want soooooooooooooo bad to do edgy things with my boyfriend. It's always been like that with every boyfriend I've been with. They lack the confidence to dance with me in the middle of a bumping circle of strangers in strobe lights and electronica music ( - .-)... for example. Crazy yeah? O.o Anyways.... I wanna do random, crazy, out-of-this-world things! I think I may need to leave my boyfriend behind, and set sail (' -' ) to another country. I think I'm going to go on vacation cross-country by myself. I'm pretty sure that my family (and boyfriend) are going to be like, "oh my gooosh, noooo don't go alooone", but I mean I could've sworn that Terrence was going on a cruise with his girlfriend, and honestly I never got the opportunity to really be single O.o


         Deal with it!\( ' -')/ Totally going to find a place to be free and WILD!! UGH!! ( - .-) being around straight-laced people on a REGULAR BASIS, I forget that life is wonderful, rigid, roller coaster of WTF WAS THAT?! ( ' -')b
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
         I can't even BEGIN to start my rant without verbally destroying the title with curse words!! I tell you, if Terrence still read my blog, he'd find reason to be happy on his birthday month. In fact, he'd probably jump for joy that shit is happening to me... assumingly. 

         In any case, I AM TIRED!! I AM TIRED OF BEING STRESSED AND DEPRESSED!!! Every time I try to have a life where things don't go HORRIBLY WRONG it DOES ANYWAY! FUCK. EVERYTHING. 

         Today, I was stressed from work at its finest, and just when I was getting an even better grip on my position at the new company I work for. However, I find it unnecessary that my validity be questioned with such high accusatory tones, statements, and questions!! 
    
My Life Now.
         In any case, stressful day at work. Boom. Shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? I mean technically it shouldn't be, because I love where I work now. I really REALLY do. The people are into games, manga, anime, and many more things! However, it's when I get off of work that I have to:


  1. Deal with driving back to my apartment for another 30-40 minutes. 
  2. Deal with stingy/cheapskate brother and his routine check for unplugging everything from every socket if not in use. 
  3. Deal with boyfriend who has nothing to really offer me nor this relationship, and:
      1. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know much about me because he's wrapped up in his world all the time, even when I come over.
      2. He's selfish.
      3. He feels entitled to everything.
      4. He can't even make me feel at ease when I get off from work at all. 
      5. It's always about him.
             Grant it, he does have a soft and sweet side, however, it has no merit if he can't maintain a relationship, and make me happy without finances. I'm tired of being in relationships where I ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF THE GUY LIKE I'M THEIR MOTHER!!! Is that what this is? I thought I was done with coddling children. You know I do try my best to be the best girlfriend. I may never get taken care of...
    Share
    Tweet
    Pin
    Share
    No comments
             You know, I never really get what I want from a relationship... most times never get close to the total package. I think that if my boyfriend saw me typing this or read this that he might be upset... 

            I feel like I handicap my boyfriends ALL THE TIME, and I make excuses for their inability to make me happy and be what I want them to be... 

             I was kind of pissed that my boyfriend, Daniel, was trying to bait me into getting him a burrito at Taco Bell last night, even though I JUST got home after work... And what's worse is that he was going to drive even though he doesn't have enough for gas to begin with. He didn't even ask me if I could get it for him... I feel like it's my fault though... I give in so easily and allow men to be spoiled brats. He said he was going to starve if he couldn't have anything else... I felt super bad, though I probably shouldn't since I worked really hard that day...

             I think it's true what they say... how you treat yourself in front of others is how people will treat you. I know I need to clean my car, room and bathroom more often, but at times I get so sad and tired it feels next to impossible... I felt like he was taking advantage of me... and what's worse is that when he finally gave in to wanting something else, he ended up making quite a mess wiping crumbs and stuff in his clothes that he was going to sleep with in my bed, and spilled crumbs on the floor. The icing on the cake was him not washing his hands before nor after eating!! It was pretty hard to watch and accept nonetheless... 

             He tells me that his job situation or money situation is temporary... but I feel like I'm talking to one my exes who make excuses for their actions that they could have avoided instead of procrastinating... And then he had the audacity to tell me to wait before we can go on a regular date... I thought that was sooo very unfair of him to say when I've been waiting for YEARS for a real guy to take care of me... a real guy to treat me the way I would like to be treated...

             I was hoping that he would try to show me appreciation for the things I do for him in the smallest measurement by at least coming to see ME at MY APARTMENT, but he always has an excuse with the fact that he doesn't have enough money to do so... And I must go over to his place if I want to see him... Of course I don't have to... nice to know.... But it's like if you can't by me anything and if you can't treat me right by taking me out on a date more often showing your appreciation that I am even with you (not too mention keeping the relationship alive), then you would think that the least you could do is COME OVER and spend time with me. And when I was at least hoping for a massage last night at least, he comes up with the same old excuse about how he doesn't know how and leaves it at that... My shoulders and back are tense, and I don't know if he's saying that because I have skin issues on my back and shoulders or what. But I felt like that was the least he could do for me... He tried to this morning and it was a SUPER fail... And it was mostly because he didn't even try! Who gives a massage with NO OIL or LOTION?! 

             Next week, or this weekend actually, I'm giving him gas money for the 5th time practically... And yeah I was taking him out on a date this Saturday, because I wanted to do something for him, but what about me... Last weekend I felt CONNED. He took me out to Star and Strikes for a date to bowl, eat, and do the arcade. But then he wanted to go to the movies also... and had me pay... I felt insulted and that the date was sort of ruined... I was not expecting for him to do that to me and I did not plan for that out of my budget... 

             All my boyfriends, except one, have taken advantage of me... I hate it... but there's not too much I can do when I am trying to make the relationship work... and they make ME feel GUILTY if I leave them for their inability and lack of real interest to make me happy. I am nothing but a SLAVE to my boyfriends and a SUGAR MAMA... and I guess that's mostly because I end up with either MAMA'S BOYS or LEECHES/MOOCHERS. I never get to be taken care of... all they can do is give me compliments because they KNOW that that's ALL they want and can give me (maybe ever).

            Things I've done for Daniel is so extensive, and things I try to do for Daniel is so over-the-top that I can't even explain how SUPPORTIVE I am... He feels that the fact that him staying with me is him not taking me for granted.... Instead of having an actual relationship, I feel like I am just a SLAVE to ALL my boyfriends that I've had from high school to now. If I try to use sex as a bargaining chip, they don't give a damn. Why? Because they will just result to porn; they WILL get what they want whether it's good or not for the relationship...

             I blame myself for accepting such behavior out of my boyfriends and making excuses for them. I can never just say NO, and make it known that I am WORTH A LOT MORE THAN WHAT THEY TREAT ME AS. I can never get that point across...  
    Share
    Tweet
    Pin
    Share
    No comments
                ( ' -') ok. To begin this post, please refer to the video posted below.



              ( ' -') I won't lie and say that I DIDN'T laugh my ass off ( LMAO ), because I did. HOWEVER, I also... (' -' ) ( '- ') ( "_ _) LIKED IT ENOUGH TO BUY IT on, guess where, ITUNES. *dun dun dun* Yes, it is an abomination in ( ' -').. most ways ( '- '). I can honestly say that this is my GUILTY PLEASURE ( " _ _) *death*. ( ' -') he has a... very "unique" voice and "dance" moves. And those dance moves though.. ( '- ') *cough*


    Share
    Tweet
    Pin
    Share
    No comments
    Newer Posts
    Older Posts

    Music Box

    Blog Archive

    • ▼  2018 (1)
      • ▼  March (1)
        • Becoming 30 - A 3 decade Mini Memoir
    • ►  2017 (5)
      • ►  July (4)
      • ►  January (1)
    • ►  2016 (4)
      • ►  December (1)
      • ►  November (1)
      • ►  January (2)
    • ►  2015 (18)
      • ►  December (3)
      • ►  November (4)
      • ►  September (3)
      • ►  July (1)
      • ►  June (1)
      • ►  March (1)
      • ►  February (2)
      • ►  January (3)
    • ►  2014 (45)
      • ►  December (7)
      • ►  November (2)
      • ►  October (3)
      • ►  September (9)
      • ►  August (2)
      • ►  July (11)
      • ►  June (3)
      • ►  May (2)
      • ►  April (2)
      • ►  March (1)
      • ►  February (1)
      • ►  January (2)
    • ►  2013 (95)
      • ►  December (1)
      • ►  November (3)
      • ►  October (3)
      • ►  September (2)
      • ►  August (5)
      • ►  July (7)
      • ►  June (8)
      • ►  May (22)
      • ►  April (29)
      • ►  March (1)
      • ►  February (4)
      • ►  January (10)
    • ►  2012 (66)
      • ►  December (16)
      • ►  November (3)
      • ►  October (8)
      • ►  September (5)
      • ►  August (9)
      • ►  July (3)
      • ►  June (1)
      • ►  May (5)
      • ►  April (6)
      • ►  March (8)
      • ►  February (2)
    • ►  2011 (51)
      • ►  December (2)
      • ►  November (2)
      • ►  October (2)
      • ►  September (1)
      • ►  August (2)
      • ►  July (3)
      • ►  June (2)
      • ►  May (2)
      • ►  April (3)
      • ►  March (4)
      • ►  February (9)
      • ►  January (19)

    About me

    Categories

    • aliens
    • amazonite
    • anime
    • ariana grande
    • arts
    • best friend
    • best friends
    • bestie
    • birthday
    • boyfriend
    • buddha bracelet
    • car mods
    • chakra
    • childish gambino
    • Christmas
    • cool
    • creepy
    • cruise
    • cute
    • death parade
    • depression
    • disappointments
    • etsy
    • family
    • friends
    • funny
    • grandmother
    • happy
    • how-to
    • interesting
    • issues
    • James Franco
    • Kingsman
    • Korean
    • life
    • love
    • marriage
    • movies
    • moving on
    • music
    • navigating life
    • photos
    • protection
    • quote
    • racism
    • review
    • romance
    • scream queen
    • seduction
    • Seth Rogen
    • slice of life
    • spoilers
    • The Interview
    • truth
    • tumblr
    • turquoise jasper
    • ufo
    • Valentine's Day
    • video
    • weird
    • work
    • yoga
    • you're a wizard harry
    • youtube
    • zedd
    • zodiac

    recent posts

    Created with by ThemeXpose