Many of these points are very important to discuss if you haven't a;ready with a significant other. I know that Daniel and I put many of these things into practice, and have had many talks regarding many of these topics. Check out these 10 things on this website! :P
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| I wish I could have these, but it's illegal x.x |
Daniel and I are like Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask :3 <3
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| This Looks Cute And Yummy |
Because Valentine's Day is coming up soon!
- A: Who do you like and Why? I'm currently with Daniel (lol)
- B: Have you ever been in love? If yes, how many times, and how do you know it was love?
- Yes, I think maybe 3 times I have been, I believe twice it was love.
- C: Longest relationship you've ever been in, and why did it end? 6 years, we grew apart.
- D: Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how? Yes, I allowed their interests to overshadow mine, because they didn't care about my interests.
- E: Pretend I'm you ex, what do you want to say to me? I hope you understand why it ended..
- F: Have you ever been cheated on? Yes...
- G: Have you ever cheated? No. But I've been interested in it. I have been in a consented open-relationship.
- H: Would you date someone who's known for cheating, if yes why? Doubt it.
- I: What's the most important part of a relationship? Spending time together, and getting to know one another.
- J: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious relationships.
- K: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? Sometimes. It varies on the situation and the person.
- L: How many people have you ever hooked up with? O.o I no understand?
- M: What's one thing you regret saying or not saying, doing or not doing in a previous relationship? Nothing really - Well, I wish I broke up with my exes sooner, and had better self-esteem.
- N: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? Teenager/High School
- O: Do you believe in the phrase, "Age is just a number?" Why or why not? Sort of. There should be a limit to how old or young you go for in a partner.
- P: What about "Love at first sight"? Why or why not? Yes.
- Q: Turn on's? Plenty ;) Just ask me privately.
- R: Turn off's? Lazy Men, Quitters, People who make excuses because it is convenient, slackers, people who lie, cheaters, un-romantic men, conservative men, boring men, selfish men, men who are not curious about me or what I like, narcissistic men, stupid men, un-mentally stimulating men, un-sexy men, men that take me for granted, men that are cocky, men who can't dress, pushovers, weak men, men who get walked over, men who take shit and don't stand up for themselves, etc.
- S: What do you consider a deal breaker? men who have kids, all my turn-offs mostly, and lies.
- T: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? when I've tried all I could to make it work.
- U: Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, for how long? If no, how long have you been single? one and a half years; sometimes.. do wish I was single for certain reasons >.>
- V: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? yes.
- W: Do you think people should date their friends? yes.
- X: How many relationships have you had? 7 I believe.
- Y: Do you think love can last forever? Yes.
- Z: Do you believe love can conquer all things? Sometimes..
- 1: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? It's possible.
- 2: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? If you think you found good, there is always better. Stand-up for yourself, and stay strong.
- 3: Do you think long distance relationships can work? Why or why not? Depends on the person
- 4: What do you notice first about another person? Their looks and intelligence.
- 5: Do gay, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender people bother you? No, not at all. In fact, some lesbians and bisexuals have told me they liked me ;) *flattered*
For most men I have been with, they always seemed to miss the point of how to keep and maintain attractiveness. Sometimes I feel like I am the boyfriend in some of my relationships... I hope that this video can help shed some light for guys who have no idea what it means to attract a woman and maintain it.
" Something really awful tends to happen when we lose someone we love—especially if the death itself didn't play out exactly the way that we might have imagined. For a period of time, all we can think about is the end, about the death itself, about how the final weeks or days or moments that maybe didn't exactly go how we had hoped.There's a period of grieving. And shock. And sorrow. But over time, if we are lucky, we start to focus again on what really actually mattered: That person's life. All the moments and experiences that made us love them so very much in the first place. You know, what really actually mattered. The living."- Kristin Dos Santos
So... today was really shitty.
Daniel is out of town, and I haven;t really heard from him all day.. actually, lately it feels like he's pulling away or losing interest in our relationship... Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe it's me losing interest.. I don't know. Either way, I thought he would've saw my Facebook status and saw that I was having a shitty day.. but he's too busy having fun experiencing new things (traveling by plane, and traveling for business, and exploring the scenes of Florida) that he didn't find it necessary to check in with me... Hurts, but I was giving him the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe he was giving me space. But I would've thought that he would read my status and recognize that something is wrong. Whatever...
So, I'm trying to hold back my tears when I type this because It feels so lonely... No one understands where I am coming from... And it's worse at work. Today, my manager defended me against 3 Operations managers and then afterwards cam down on me pretty hard. It was very contradicting because it felt like he was mad he went toe to toe with his good friend. But at the same time both me and his manager friend are at fault?? Makes no sense.. Anyway..
When I am at work, I get this constant judgement and extreme feeling that no one has too much faith in what I do, nor does anyone know what I do really. No one really respects me and my role there because I am not my manager with 4 years of experience behind me. I am constantly compared to him on a regular. Not only that but two of the Operations managers out of the three make me feel like I'm not doing my job, and that my role is insignificant. They make me feel like I have no really value. I bust my ass everyday trying to make things go smoothly at this company. But everyday I'm constantly compared and made seem like I'm not good enough or comparable enough to do my job and beyond. They watch emails to see if I responded, they also stick around to see if they can "help", etc.
The Operations manager thought I was throwing him under the bus to the Director, but I wasn't. In fact, all I was asking was for him to debrief me on the situation he had at hand before it gets out of hand again like before. My manager doesn't know that the Operations manager was getting way more upset than he needed to be because he HATES me. He hates me because he feels like I am the reason he is unsuccessful of solidifying a monogamous relationship with my best friend. But guess what, I tried to help him not FUCK IT UP like he's doing now. So when she leaves his ass and the company, best believe I will be happy to see their faces drop so low to the floor in hopelessness. I try my hardest not to talk to anyone or get too close to certain people in the office because no one understands me except maybe a few....
I wanted to tell Daniel all of this an more in detail, but he never checked-in.... He's off living his life, and forgot all about me... I just don't matter anywhere... No one understands me... I have no purpose really... I think I may move out sooner than later from this apartment... I feel like I'm better off alone... and honestly, I feel like no one I have NO ONE who gets me or knows what I like or is open to the same things I'm open to anymore... sometimes suicide is a better solution than roughing it by myself on earth... Daniel is going to come back and not know what is going on with me... And he's going to ask once or twice if I'm lucky and then give up. No one finds me worth treating well or taking care of me.. no one finds me worth understanding... Even my own best friend was 65% backing up the same guy she is about to dump for her ex.
One day, I know I will commit suicide. I will not expect anyone to come to my funeral. I will not expect anyone to understand why I did it or what for. But I think that that is when I will be at peace with solitude....
Most days I hate my life, and what it has become....
A lot of times, I don't feel sexy in my relationship...
I just sat here and shed a few tears; mostly it was because of the emotional symphonic music coming from my boyfriend's phone.
I just sat here and shed a few tears; mostly it was because of the emotional symphonic music coming from my boyfriend's phone.
( ' -') If it wasn't for my Bestie Camille, I'm not sure if anything would be tolerable/possible.
( ' .')b
It’s a
real harsh reality to deal with, but I have to live with it. One of my best
friends, who is a girl, seems to find believing for a partial second that I
would do her wrong justifiable because it comes from outsiders who think they
know me. She and the rest of them clearly don’t know me at all. I find it
painful to believe that after all the things we have went through together for
a year now that she would at LEAST know my character. She doesn't question the
two-faced people who smile in her face or dance around with lies. And she doesn't stop to defend the idea that they are wrong about me. This is the second time
now that she has potentially thought I would “throw her under the bus”. Gee,
thanks. What makes it worse is that she decides to claim loyalty to the people
that decided to fabricate false assumptions about me by maintaining their anonymity.
Mind you, there is more than one person spewing filth about me. Gee, thanks. Mind
you, all of this is at work.
You
know, it’s a lonely place in the world. Most days I try to fight off my
depression, which doesn't make the situation better. No one understands that;
no one understands me. Most days I feel like making two books, and then “offing”
myself like other similar authors.
Some
days I come home to my boyfriend, and I push him away. I don’t want to do that,
but he too does not understand me. And his constant let downs and struggles
deepen my depression and worry of future. I feel cursed. He tries to ignore the
issues and the fact that we don’t connect or do anything together by shrouding
me with affection, cooked food, and southern gentleman hospitality. It appears
that he expects me to just take what he’s dishing out, and wait around till he
feels like changing things. It doesn't require money always to do what it takes
to make it better, especially the understanding part. But that’s just it; he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to do. It makes this relationship
seem like I’m being tolerant and accepting of the things I have to suffer
without in a basic relationship. He thinks I’ll still be warm to him, and allow
him to kiss or hug me because his name is “Daniel”. He doesn't EARN his right to be my boyfriend.
Tired
of being misunderstood. Tired of settling for less, and allowing it to affect
my depression more.
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| This is what Danny and I are like these days ^.^ |
Ugh... I'm SUPER JEALOUS... People my age get to do fun stuff with their significant other, or do more in general with people. Instead I'm being smothered by my clingy boyfriend who doesn't have a penny to offer me. I'm guessing maybe he's doing that because he is constantly low on funds (do to expenses that pop up like his timing belt and stuff), and feels like suffocating me is a another way of saying "I Love You". WRONG. Unfortunately, his ex has paved the way to create a monster. Bitch.
Next year, Him and I are supposed to travel to Japan next year with my friends. I have already expressed to him that I will NOT be taking care of him overseas, and that the least I can do is pay for our hotel and food (if he's really that stricken for cash). I told him I will not be embarrassed in front of an ex/friend and my other friends who have sacrificed, saved, and does not make the rest of the group feel like we owe them something.
The more things I find to do without him (like what ended up with Richard, one of my exes), the less time I will want to spend around my boyfriend. If having fun by myself is all he can "afford", so be it. He makes me feel guilty without knowing it I guess when I am able to afford things. He'll have this look on his face like "I wish I could go" or "I wish you didn't pay". I figure that if you wish so bad (anyone for that matter) for something to be a certain way, what is stopping you?
I realized just now, that I ALWAYS get, what I like to call, the "fixer-upper house project boys". This means I get the broken, intolerable, stubborn, broke, selfish, unpleasing-to-women, problem "men" that after going through a relationship "boot camp" with me for a few years or more, they become the BEST or MUCH BETTER boyfriends and husbands to the next woman or skanky bitch they cheated on me with!
Why can't I have such luxury? Do I naturally take in abandoned lost puppies?! I believe there is an article about this scenario. *Links it* <-- Link.
Also, the below red flags have given me reason to believe I have a "fixer-upper" I think that he needs to get himself together, and do some soul searching.. I think I need to tell him this, though it's going to hurt, because I don't know what's going to happen..
I think I have acquired a Muse of some sort for my creative spirit..
Post by William Robinson.
My boyfriend made a surprise visit Monday, and he brought me a card, CD, and CHOCOLATE!!!! :D It was really sweet. He seemed different ever since he returned from Florida. It helped awaken my soul a little at a time this week. That card above that he gave me is my favorite one so far <3. Th CD is by this artist called "Emancipator". VERY SOOTHING. I love it all.. ^.^
I'm kind of upset, because my boyfriend doesn't seem to be the guy I was hoping for... I keep thinking the "real" him will finally pop up and go surprise, but I think his ex soaked it up and took it with her.. selfish bitch. Not sure how much more I can take of this...
In celebrating my spot in time, where I float among space, I have posted the picture above ( ' -')/
Daniel is in Florida currently for the Fourth of July weekend, and I feel guilty to say this, but I'm happy because I can actually have some space! \( ' .')/ I can have some me time! It's sad I guess that I have to wait till my boyfriend leaves town to do so. He's been texting me off the hook.. And I'm pretty sue it's because he misses me.. however I never get that point in time where I can truly say I miss you because everywhere I turn he is there lol. Not just that, but he does this thing where he is a bit clingy x.x Makes me feel bad when I told him the day before.. but I don't know how else to give him the message that I NEED SPACE lol. He didn't even give me time to get over Terrence x.x (not that I'm totally complaining about that anymore).
I don't know if he's afraid of something like me cheating on him or something. But if he wants to spend every waking moment with me, there needs to be money and planning involved lol. Sorry to say, but I'm not going to just stay locked up in his place as often as I have been anymore. I guess I will seek my own set of space if need be. I used to ignore people who kept doing that. Like a friend of mine who is constant on Facebook ( @ -@). I don't want to have to do that. It's already problem-some that we have issues lol, Sometimes I just want to sit and be idle or do something FUN for a change. And most times he sounds like a 40 year old stuck in his prime at 20 in the 1940s, while also sounding like a typical black guy trying to hustle into "the great life". But he never takes time to be mellow and chillout or even have fun. Like I if something fun is going on I don't usually want to invite him.. mostly because he will become all "wall flower" on me. In any case, I also need time to figure out if this relationship is worth it in the end.. WE HAVE SO MANY ISSUES RIGHT NOW X___X
I guess when you look at my track record, almost all the guys I've been with (if not all) are at least selfish and self-centered. I am, however, tired of being misunderstood or having my interests overlooked...
In any case, back to the story ( ' -'). We talk about TomorrowWorld and planning for it (FINALLY). I bought the tickets some month ago, which heh was not cheap ( O -O)!! It was at least $600 for two V.I.P. tickets for crying out loud. So, all I asked for him is to pay for gas and food (and possibly a hotel if needed or necessary). We start planning and we end up butting heads over lack of understanding and misunderstandings... this is a CONSTANT THING. I really don't know if we are going to last...
He doesn't hear my side of the story, and he's so adamant to be right because he's a SORE LOSER. He can't lose gracefully, and he has issues keeping his word. Anywaaaaaaay, so I was asking what his budget was for this music festival, and he didn't know too well, and he was kind of being unclear about how much he was spending for that weekend... Needless to say, it is going to be expensive... anyway, he wanted to rely on "experience", which for this there is limited. I told him to start looking for hotels from last week I think, because I told him it was already going to more than likely be booked or we would have to pay more because of how late we waited AND because the hotels know the music festival is going to be close (duh). So there a muli fights in there over a week or two. Ugh. It's very frustrating... HE IS SO INTO HIMSELF!!! I just feel like telling him to STFU sometimes or even taking him down a peg. I hate that I need to take my own boyfriend down a peg because he's to fucking cocky and self-centered to listen to ANYONE ELSE. Ass. One day, he'll listen AFTER THE FACT. Probably would've broke his heart by then.
This anime was so wonderful.. it actually made me tear up a bit lol. It reminded me of Daniel and I mostly. It's about Mei Tachibana, who doesn't have friends because they always betray you and leave when it's not fun anymore. Funny enough I can relate to her.. :P Yamato Kurosawa comes in an changes how she thinks about people and friends and I guess well.. life! :P I'd like to say that about Daniel for the most part.
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| At times this is the dramatization of Daniel and I (Yamato and Mei) |
They have come through some hard times as a couple, which I'm pretty sure we can relate. I know I can be hard on Daniel sometimes, but I guess it's because I've had to deal with so much crap in the past. He still won't give up on me though. He's stated that I'm not for the feint at heart xP lol.
If I had to rate this anime, I'd give it an 8 out of 10 :P Mainly, it's because I was expecting a little more development beyond high school maybe? It falls under the category of "Slice of Life", "Romance", and "Comedy-Drama". I guess there is nothing that will go as far as Clannad did :P
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| Daniel treats me like his princess (as he calls me) like Yamato does Mei |
Did I mention that Yamato is Mei's first boyfriend?! ( ' -') of course by the way he looks, they go through some issues because he at one points models with this cute girl. He keeps wanting Mei to "claim" him so to speak, and to voice her real opinion on how she feels about him modeling and who he is with. It takes some time for her too. Like me, Mei and I don't talk very much, and we leave the "knowing-what's-wrong-with-me" to our boyfriends. I'll admit it can be frustrating, but in the end it's worth it. ^.^
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| Yamato tells Mei he knows her without her talking much (lucky girl) |
Ok. Let me start by saying, "Happy Birthday Terrence". ( ' -') I know. DUMB AND STUPID to do, right? Well, to popular belief, we are supposed to be friends. Not to mention, I feel edgy and adventurous :P
